This week we learned the inside secrets of Sandy’s marriage.
Actually, we learned about the different languages of apology, and how that can make a huge difference in our relationships. We talked mainly about marriages since, for many of us, that’s where we apologize the most. The book that Sandy worked from is called The Five Languages of Apology and she highly recommended reading it, as she only gave us a sample. To sum up, the five languages can be expressed as:
- I’m sorry
- I was wrong
- What can I do to make it right?
- I’ll try not to do that again
- Will you please forgive me?
The idea is that the style with which we identify most is the language we need to hear to feel an apology has been sincere. Often, it is the one we use in handling a conflict. It’s challenging to recognize that our spouse (or parent, or friend, etc) probably has a different style and needs us to use a different apology language so that they are able to forgive and move on. It’s also challenging to have the other person recognize our style and use it as well. But like so many other facets of communication, with practice it can make a significant difference. And as Maggie pointed out, it can save a fortune on therapy bills!
What did you think of the session, or if you missed it, what questions do you have from this brief summary?